now i realise what i found like about clubbing. actually more like confirmed it. its the mask of anonymity thats casts one in a shadow of obscurity. in other words, one can be a different person inside and do things differently and no one would give a damn, cuz for gods sake its a club, and heck i dun think there are enough people inside the club who know u to comment on ur behaviour.
but then again, thats not to say i enjoy clubbing a lot. i just go once in a long while to loosen up. there are too many things inside that does not appeal to me at all.
music tonight in mos was good. thats about all.

i dont know why, but for the past few days, i keep having dreams of my exercise, stuff in camp etc. maybe its cuz ive been whining too much. its good that i finally got all that nonsense off my chest, but hey i guess its enough. ive been thinking too much about it that its been affecting my mood, even at home. i think i should jus fuck it, jus like so many people have been asking me to.
and anws, we need more of long weekends. i wish this extended holiday never had to end. and shit man i have to book in tonight. i haven rested enough, definitely not enough. i need a good break, for me to relax totally, chill, go overseas and enjoy the sun sea sand and shopping maybe, but more importantly, to forget all the stuff thats been bugging me for so long.

yeah man i finally removed the irritating tagboard.
anws went clubbing ytd. the last time i went was almost 6 months back, so the itch was getting to me a bit. it felt bad, really bad. i felt like shit after that, for obvious reasons. the sheer superficiality of it all was getting to me again. was it because people whom i knew were down dere looking at me? i dont know. but surely some of them would be quite surprised to see me acting the way i did. i din noe wad came over me also, but after the whole thing, it really did not feel good. i dunno. i will still go clubbing, but no more replay of what happened last night. maybe this is what intoxication can do to your judgement. maybe its because of the way my life is now. maybe its a combination of both. its at times like these when i really want to meet the someone who can make me settle down and stop all these nonsense. however, that is virtually impossible until at least a year more.often, i wonder in what form she would turn out to be, cuz there is really no one in mind.
anws moving on, my last major hurdle is more or less over. i dunno where are all my command skills and confidence. its a bad performance by my own standards, not to mention others benchmark. this means one thing, its coming to an end soon. all the stifling, shit taking, will soon stop. either that, or take up a new form. but definitely it will not feel as fucked up, because im alr mentally prepared. alright, i shall stop all the bitching, last week was enough. i still cant believe i let the stress get to me and offloaded all the shit to so many people. its so not me, but i guess wads done is done. lets move on. there is light at the end of the tunnel =)

anws koping a quote from renfu:
if you live to a hundred, i wanna live to a hundred minus one day, so i dun ever have to live without you.
-winnie the pooh-
awwww damn sweet rite. but its damn bloody selfish. bwahaha im jus kidding.

"Chasing Cars"

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

what an apt song. wad a nice song...